The world has gone sort of gray and fuzzy. I’m Slightly Out of Focus. The daily routine becomes a monotone roar in my ears, the nightly escape an ever more out of control attempt to drown out one din with another. I’m not wandering lost, not yet. I’m still reasonably centered, but the things that were once important have faded away. The new things that are becoming important (or that I want to become important) are far away, in the distance, not even particularly shiny, just hazy black shapes that I only endeavor to move towards when there’s nothing better to do. There’s always something else to do, better or not. Life isn’t joyless, but it’s not really joyful, either. Small pleasures have become the only pleasures. Mild irritations become raging fires of anger that fade moments after they started. I snap at a lot of people. I forget things. I have no patience. I hurt people’s feelings on accident.

I am Slightly Out of Focus. Don’t tell anyone, I’m hoping it won’t last.